Patience Is A Painful Virtue

Being patient is hard. Tolerating things that annoys me everyday is a tough feat yet I still do it.

Why? Beats me.

I'm not exactly and outspoken guy but I was at least more frank about confronting people when their habits are turning into my peeves. But I'm not anymore.

Thing is, I'm not exactly a patient guy either. So most of the time I'm torn between giving someone a piece of my mind or just keeping quiet and brush it off.

Is it the insecurity and fear of losing someone that's causing this? Maybe.

Or the fact that I might hurt someone? Definitely.

That I'm afraid nothing would change and I'll just end up disappointed? That too.

Oh well, happiness is not hard to fake anyway.

Tears

I bet at some point in your life (presumably when you've hit rock bottom) you're reduced to tears because that guy you only dated for 3 months broke up with you (because 3 months is somehow enough to make you love someone), a friend of yours will come along and say:

"It's not worth crying over a guy".

If you're a guy then they'll say:

"It's not worth crying over a girl" (or "suck it up faggot". Depends on what kind of friends you have)

In other words, it's not worth crying over anyone then? So what are all these tears for then?

So my question is, who the fuck should we cry for?

Losing 100 hours worth of save file in Skyrim

Despite what many people believe, I think having someone that is able to make you cry is kinda a good thing. Don't get me wrong it's not that I'm some sort of masochistic perv or anything. And no I do not enjoy being with woman who would make me cry all the time.

Pictured: Not me

It's just that if nobody can make you shed a tear no matter how much they hurt you, you obviously don't have anyone that you care about enough.

For example if let's say your best friend in your whole wide world decided to leave you. If you don't feel sad enough to shed even one tiny teensy bit of tear then something is wrong with you. Sure, maybe some people are emotionally stronger or resilient but no one is truly unbreakable.

Somehow, somewhere in our heart there's a weak spot where a hard enough blow can crumble every single bit of emotional defenses you've walled up around your unbreakable heart.

Also in that same spot is reserved for those important enough to you to reach your most vulnerable side. And those are the people you have to cherish. Those are the people that make you feel like you're on cloud 9 and at the same time if something bad happened related to them that particular cloud 9 will dump you back to the ground and rain depression on you.

Screw you and your happy thoughts

Really not sure the point of this post here but I guess I can conclude that we all have a soft spot for someone. More than often you don't realise it until it's too late.

Solitude

I'm gonna go ahead and admit here that at times I can be one hell of an introvert. Means sometimes I don't like to talk much or I just really don't feel like being around people.

One of those 'fuck everyone' moments

Plus with the fact that the "less people less bullshit" principle is already subconsciously ingrained in my head, I tend to just avoid people outright at times. But we all have that kind of moments right? Where you just want to be away from people. Having company is a great thing but there's something you can't easily achieve with people around you. Peace.

And 'happy alone time'

Of course don't mistook me as a complete shutout now. I love making new friends. I love having someone close to me around. It's just that sometimes due to some psychological or emotional reasons, I just want to be left alone. Physically and virtually.

So don't misunderstood my occasional silence/isolation.

Cheers.

p/s : I still hate crowds though